Premier League victory for Manchester City: Foden’s unstoppable play, Arsenal’s advancement, exemplary Everton, goals, and more
1) A total of 79 seconds. It took that long for the “very probable” to turn into the “almost certain.” There will always be the “off the pitch” disclaimers, which makes sense and is unavoidable. However, Manchester City truly shines when playing on the field.
The first team in history to win the premier division of English football four times in a row—a feat so remarkable that it defies jokes that “football wasn’t invented until 1992.” We’re not just watching Premier League history here; this is real English football history. It’s a Double-Double if the FA Cup final next week goes as it undoubtedly must. One more first.
Pep Guardiola’s team is unrelenting and did not even tease us this time with their 2-0 loss to Aston Villa followed by three goals in the space of six minutes, leaving us to wonder what we should have been worried about.’.
After the amazing Phil Foden scored a goal before many of us had even properly set up all our screens, there were only two brief moments of uncertainty, excitement, and tension—one at the end of the first half and one at the end of the second.
The first goal reduced West Ham’s deficit at nearly the exact same moment that Takehiro Tomiyasu was equalizing for Arsenal against Everton. Kudus, or more specifically, Mohammed Kudus, conjured up an incredible self-assisted overhead kick for a goal that was not so much against the run of play as it was denying the existence of the play altogether.
The other thrilling moment occurred at the very end of the game when Tomas Soucek seemed to make it 3-2 at the Etihad as Arsenal finished an understandably drawn-out comeback against Everton. When the goal was announced on the field, he almost guiltily rejoiced, knowing full well what would come next. Or at least, he did if you were the only person watching and failed to realize he’d done it with his hand.
VAR made the required changes and provided us with a long-overdue conspiracy theory for Arsenal’s last day of play. When Jarrod Bowen was ruled out earlier due to “illness,” we had high expectations. Could this incident be a case of lasagnegate? It was a touch on the nose given the involvement of Arsenal and West Ham, but sadly Bowen had tonsilitis instead of the wild sh*ts.
The referee only permitted it on the field knowing that VAR would rule it out, which escalated to “the referee only allowed it on the field knowing that VAR would rule it out and then City would vote to keep VAR and everyone would go thank heavens we have VAR,” so VAR it would have to be.
Even if this is absurd, it’s also incredibly misguided, isn’t it? You must desire a second goal from West Ham at that time if you’re even close to becoming neutral, don’t you? Something a little more than “Are these guys really going to rush the pitch before the final whistle, and what’s the penalty and is it three points?” should be spoken in the closing minutes.”to aim for.
2) If we are delving into the realm of pointless conjecture, we will state that Arsenal vs. Everton and City vs. West Ham ought to have gone the other way, don’t they? That would have been on par with the greatest dramas on the last day of the tournament. City is falling behind against all odds as Arsenal eases into an early 2-0 lead. Then, just when Arsenal’s lead seemed alarmingly shaky, City equalizes. After Arsenal extends their lead by two goals, ALL EYES are on the Etihad, where a late winner from City tears apart Arsenal’s hearts.
It only goes to show how close we were to having an exciting final day rather than this anti-climax where everyone had to pretend that a four-goal swing turning into a two-goal swing meant serious danger. Though perhaps not always in the correct order, the Barclays were nonetheless hitting all the right notes.
3) How unquestionably, if rather predictably, fitting it is that Foden, the homegrown academy product in the squad of international superstars, should end up being the day’s main man. At the age of 23, he casually won his sixth Premier League title and has never been a more crucial piece of the puzzle than he is at this moment.
His second goal was set up by the dynamic Jeremy Doku, who somehow threaded a pass through a gap between roughly five West Ham players that didn’t seem to exist. His first goal was one of the best nerve-settlers this kind of day has ever witnessed. Not the players, but the gap that is. But the former would at least make sense in light of the latter.
4) However, despite having nine shots on goal in the first thirty minutes and the seemingly inevitable missed sitter from Erling Haaland—still one of the most bizarre football players to have ever played this ridiculous game—City would spend the remainder of the half mysteriously failing to extend that lead.
He truly seems to have just two modes: the all-consuming, unstoppable robot goalmachine that will undoubtedly swallow us all, and the inept irrelevance that adds nothing but confusion and bewilderment. This was one of the second ones, and it’s possible that there is a scenario or universe in which Haaland’s performance today causes them to lose the title, is remembered for eternity, and makes Roy Keane even angrier than Arsenal supporters.
5) As it happened, a late and extremely quiet winner from Kai Havertz saw Arsenal come close to fulfilling their obligations. We certainly believe they should enjoy that triumph, but there’s something lyrical about a team that is so frequently and so bleakly criticized for doing the opposite. Even while it doesn’t seem like much right now, if and when Arsenal does cross the finish line, we fully expect it to seem more significant in the future.
Even though winning tonight was never going to be enough, it was still necessary for Arsenal to maintain control over the story of their season. The story is now one of progress and growing closer to City; more than anything, today’s victory brings them near the 89 points City scored in the previous campaign, which gives Arsenal hope that they may overcome Liverpool at some time, possibly even in the upcoming campaign.
Should we lose today, the tale will become monotonous about bottling on a day when it shouldn’t have been able to bottle it and how we’re no closer to City than we were a year ago at this time. Despite the fact that “Bottlers” is still trending on Twitter, that is inevitable, and unlike last season, Arsenal can at least this time joyfully disregard it for the complete nonsense that it is.
Arsenal has played in 18 Premier League games, winning 16, drawing one, and losing 1. It’s a tiring reminder of how difficult it is to defeat City, but it also provides compelling proof that Arsenal is only the second team in history to construct a team capable of doing so. Praise for this Arsenal squad’s two years of pushing this Man City team this close is neither condescending nor meaningless.
6) Just before halftime, we will not apologize for enjoying the spectacle of a large number of Arsenal supporters at the Emirates believing a bogus West Ham equalizer rumor.
Regardless of the squad, we adore the fact that this priceless bit of closing-day theater has endured since the smartphone’s introduction and is, if anything, more common than ever in the big 2024.
Even though you might think it would be impossible, banter manages to mislead 60,000 individuals who are all carrying tiny computers in their pockets. In this instance, the signal collapses when a sufficient number of people begin frantically checking their phones.
I hope the nerds never figure this one out. May there never be a time when phone service is so poor that this important piece of our past disappears.
7) The tradition of a ton of goals being scored in bright sunshine is another essential final-day custom that needs to be preserved at all costs. It just has to be that way.
2023–2024 was accomplished splendidly, and there was an extra perk: nothing changed in a significant way that affected the league standings at the end. There were two goals in every game, only four sides were unable to score, and we ended up with 37 goals overall, including a 5-0 and a couple of 4-2s for good measure.
However, what sets this last-day goalfest apart is its lack of distinction. The Premier League season saw 1,223 goals scored when Jarell Quansah headed in Liverpool’s second goal from roughly six inches out, setting a new record for both the 20-team and 22-game seasons. Additionally, keep in mind that those 42-game seasons consist of far more games than that; a league with 20 teams has 380 games, and one with 22 teams has 462. And even with 82 less games this season, there were still more goals than those. Although that is astounding, it doesn’t seem like there is much excellent defense occurring.
8) The outcomes of today provide yet another striking illustration of the enormous quantity of goals that have virtually become the norm this season. There used to be just two Premier League teams that could both score and give up 60 goals. In 2007–08 and 2022–23, to no one’s great astonishment, the two teams were, in fact, Tottenham.
Tottenham deservedly accomplished this “achievement” a third time this season. although Aston Villa, Chelsea, Newcastle, and West Ham also joined in. Additionally, Man United (57–58), Crystal Palace (57–58), Brighton (55–62), Bournemouth (54-67), and Brentford (56–65) also had close calls. Everton had the fourth-best defense in the nation with 51 goals given up.
9) However, let’s not act as though this was solely due to the league’s free-flowing, attacking football and a few shaky defensive plays here and there. These figures are also the result of what will go down as the poorest three promoted clubs’ combined performance ever. The sight of all three promoted clubs losing so easily, especially in a season where two of their theoretical rivals were dealt with substantial point penalties, raises more uncomfortable concerns than whether City’s domination is good for the Premier League brand.
Luton has made an effort, but the plain statistics remain dismal. Just 14 wins and 66 points were earned by the three promoted-relegated teams combined; five of those victories and 17 of those points were shared by the trio.
On the last day, they all suffered losses at home and gave up nine more goals, bringing their total amount of goals given up to an alarming 267. The three teams at the bottom stand out as the worst, even in a season where so many teams’ defenses were glaringly weak. Burnley scored 78 goals, Luton scored 85, and Sheffield United scored an incredible 104 goals. West Ham’s outrageous 74 goals conceded is the only other team’s total of 70 or more.
10) However, none of those clubs gave up five today. Aston Villa’s players may have been guilty of savoring the past few days and the knowledge that they had qualified for the Champions League, but that was their fate.
A few months ago, Crystal Palace could have been the kind of venue where a team of Villa’s caliber could go up ill-prepared and unprepared, but at the moment, even with your whole team completely committed and invested, it’s a difficult place to go.
They finished the season just short of their first 50-point season since returning to the Premier League eleven years ago, having scored 19 of the final 21 points that were available. But if – and this is a big if – they can stay together to give the upcoming season a real shot, they will undoubtedly be one of the teams to watch.
Jean-Philippe Mateta’s hat-trick and Eberechi Eze’s two goals serve as a timely reminder of how exciting this Palace club may be under Glasner and how this is only the beginning. Since falling to Manchester City 4-2, they have accomplished some truly amazing things. They have scored 20 goals in six games since that strange and ultimately crucial Super Sunday victory over Liverpool at Anfield. Who knows what the upcoming season at Selhurst Park may hold if the way one season ends truly does affect how the following one begins—something that appears to have occurred frequently enough to at least be noteworthy. One thing: fifty points.
However, given the harsh realities of modern football and the dearth of available coaches, together with the possibility of other teams scouting, Palace may find itself spending an unhappy summer stifling interest in both players and managers.
Next up: Michael Olise’s nine summer alternatives ranked: Arsenal eighth, Manchester United seventh, Crystal Palace second
11) At least it looks like Liverpool has decided on Jurgen Klopp’s replacement, so that’s one item crossed off the list. He ended his English football career with a 2-0 victory over Wolves, which could have been much more comfortable but still gave fans one last look at a big smile from Klopp and what will likely look like an odd sight of Klopp in the dugout while Liverpool plays in their 2024–25 home uniform. A full analysis of this will appear in the crucial kit rankings in due course, but our initial assessment would indicate that the collar is too fussy and noticeable.
It was certainly disappointing to witness how a potentially magnificent farewell season fizzled out towards the end, but at least Klopp leaves Anfield with another victory under his belt—and that too on a day when it was easier than ever to be reminded of just how hard it is to live with Manchester City and how crucial it is that somebody at least tries. The farewells to Klopp have already been written.
No one made a greater effort than Klopp, and considering the Barclays period in which he has found himself functioning, the argument that he only has “one title” will always be meaningless. Although he has enough of silverware on his Liverpool resume, his impact on Our League will always be gauged by more than just awards.
Fans of Liverpool already know, but maybe until everything resumes in August without him, the rest of us won’t realize just how much of a part Klopp has had in the Barclays atmosphere.
12) Chelsea’s incredible end-of-season comeback came to an end with a 2-1 victory over Bournemouth, which ensures European football on Thursday nights. The match will be most remembered for starring one of today’s contenders for goal of the season, Moises Caicedo, who scored a goal from halfway in the first half.
Chelsea’s sixth-place finish is impressive considering where they’ve been for the majority of this season and the previous one. Though it seemed implausible just a few short weeks ago, Mauricio Pochettino at least now definitely gets to start a second season in the big chair at Stamford Bridge due to his late form and the previously noted lack of alternatives.
Although sixth position is a sign of improvement and growth, people will only put up with this as a reasonable return on the ridiculous investment for a limited amount of time. The next season needs to improve over time.
13) Manchester United’s 2-0 victory over Brighton—which is currently without a manager—was in vain after Newcastle’s classic final-day victory over Brentford. The FA Cup final will determine the final European position. Newcastle was up 3-0, trailed to 3-2, and ultimately won 4-2.
If United prevails, Chelsea will join them in the Europa Conference, and Newcastle would be eliminated. If United, as we really must expect, does not win it, Chelsea will join Tottenham in the Europa League, Newcastle will be in the Conference, and United will likely look back on a season in which, considering how awful they have been for much of it, they can consider themselves fortunate to have finished as high as the eighth best team in England.
That’s kind of the point—we still don’t really know where they will or should go from here. There isn’t a clear-cut way out of their current conflict, and whichever path they choose will probably be difficult. Even while it’s a difficult road for a team the size of United, it might be advantageous to try and navigate it while playing a season outside of Europe.
14) Unless the most ridiculous of things happened, Nottingham Forest was already safe, but two more goals from Chris Wood guaranteed it. What an oddly important role he has turned out to be in the main plots of this season.
First and foremost, if Wood hadn’t scored six goals against the trio that was promoted and relegated, the relegation battle would have been far more exciting.
However, there’s also the hat-trick he scored against his old team, Newcastle, the effect it had on their season during a stretch of four losses, and most importantly, all those chances lost against Manchester City.
Although Son Heung-min’s miss against City might be the one that everyone remembers, Wood also plays an important part in this tale.
15) Spurs, on the other hand, cap off a season that has been somewhat odd with a 3-0 victory over Sheffield United. A 3-0 victory is undoubtedly impressive, but considering all their rivals have been up to, how much of it can you truly take into account? While placing fifth is undoubtedly impressive, how much of it can really be attributed to etc. etc. etc.
A season of growth is a huge win in and of itself, considering how horribly they ended the previous year and the seemingly irreversible loss of Harry Kane’s goals and all-around influence in the summer. However, it appears that they have the season reversed. Don’t start like the Spurs did and win 26 of those points in the first 10 games if your ultimate goal is to finish fifth or sixth with sixty-odd points. It would be far wiser to adopt Chelsea’s strategy of being awful for the first three quarters of the season before turning it on to start the summer full of hope and optimism.
After today’s victory, Spurs did manage to edge Chelsea by three points, which is acceptable until you consider that Spurs had a 14-point lead over Chelsea after ten games. As is often the case at Spurs, they have a big summer ahead of them and must make the proper decisions if they want this to be the beginning of something greater than just another “oh so Spurs false dawn.” which is somewhat how things feel at the moment.
